So I went to the movies last night with Angela. She left my place this afternoon. Nuff said.
I wasn’t really sure how the evening would turn out. After all, I was upfront with her and told her that I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend right now. I wasn’t sure what her reaction was going to be. I wanted to let her drive how far things would go so I didn’t get all affectionate with her when I saw her. After all, there was a good chance she would want things to become platonic. We had a great time at the movie and afterwards we were thinking about where to go. I thought that maybe we could go to a dessert place to hang more but she pointed out that all the dessert shops would be closed right now. She then suggested that we come back to my place for some drinks and I agreed. We had a great time just hanging out and talking and laughing. I was definitely getting the vibes that she was interested to fool around. I could have gone either way. I wanted to, of course, but at the same time, I wasn’t specifically making the evening go that way. It could have easily ended with just two friends hanging out together and having a fun time.
But then I crossed the line… what did I do? I took off her watch… Now, I don’t know about other guys, but I consider taking a woman’s watch off a very intimate act and she definitely perceived it that way, too. From then on, it was a full blown make out session and then some. I’m not going to go into details here but let’s just say our date lasted from about 9 pm to 2 pm the following day.
She told me she appreciated my honesty for telling her where I stand about not wanting a relationship right now and she respects that decision. She admitted to being disappointed that I don’t want to give the relationship thing a try with her but she’s not going to push me into it. At the same time she reasoned the following: she’s got needs, she really enjoys the times we spend together, it’s been a while for her and we’re both adults so what’s the big deal. So she’s perfectly OK with this arrangement (at least for now). This was such a relief to hear that it made the entire evening more relaxed and easy going.
So we’ll see where things go. Right now, it’s Friends with Benefits.
10 comments
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April 7, 2007 at 11:01 pm
FWB Expert
She is lying! Speakig as a woman, women cannot be FWB!! Just not possible. Mainly because women cannot separate love from sex. Didn’t she already tell u she wants more? Well how woud that magically change after one night and all of a sudden she is ok with it? The answer: she’s lying. She tried confronting you…that didn’t work, so she figures she may as well keep things as is than risk losing the ‘benefits’. I know firsthand, b/c the same thing is happening with me and my FWB. We’ve been FWB for over a year and I’ve wanted more fore a while now, and I keep sticking it out, kinda hoping .
April 8, 2007 at 12:17 am
datingguy
Thanks, FWB Expert – I appreciate your honesty. She was over at my place again and I made sure to point out that I still felt the same about our arrangement. I got a vibe she wanted things to become more serious. She’s still saying she’s in agreement with the arrangement but maybe she’s like you and not wanting to risk losing the benefits. So maybe you’re right but I’ll tell you this – I don’t want this arrangement to last as long as a year. That’s not going to be healthy for either one of us. Right now, though, it’s just 2 adults enjoying each other’s company.
April 8, 2007 at 10:03 pm
sabie
I’m all about the FWB thing! Back in the dating world after my divorce. Having a FWB makes dating less stessful to me, no sexual tension making it impossible to get to know each other. I love my FWB and he loves me, but not in a romantic relationship. We love what we do to each other, emotions and touch. He knows about my current BF, I know about his GF. We enjoy each others company completely. But we both know and understand that it can not last a year!
April 8, 2007 at 10:33 pm
datingguy
Thanks for your thoughts, sabie. Sounds like you guys have a really cool arrangement. Does your BF know about your FWB? And does his GF know about you? I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable doing a FWB on the side if I had a GF or if she had a BF but then again I’ve never been in that situation. And I totally agree with you about not having it last for a year – that’s way too long.
April 9, 2007 at 8:15 pm
sabie
They know, but not everything. They know that we are spending time with each other when we are not with them. I use the term BF for the guy I am seeing even though we have not made that *step*. His GF lives an hour and a half away, so I see him and sleep with him more than she does. So maybe I just have two BFs, lol, or she has a FWB. As far as having a FWB with a BF or GF, you can say and do things without running the risk of offending. And what a time to try new things!!
April 12, 2007 at 2:23 am
datingguy
Sounds complicated to me – trying to keep track of who’s the BF/GF/FWB but it looks like you’re enjoying yourself – and getting lots of action in the process. I think it’s great that you now have this special time in your life to try new things.
May 10, 2007 at 2:21 pm
erikcurtis
DG, that picture is quite appripo to the FWB post. In my dating life I’ve had two FWB’s. It was great! Not sexual all of the time, just someone to hang out with. I don’t agree completely with FWB Expert, I feel that women can have sex w/o love. You’ve heard the term “one night stand”, yes?
May 10, 2007 at 3:16 pm
datingguy
Thanks, erikcurtis. I think you’re right – I posted how she was dissapointed that we were ending our FWB. She would have been perfectly happy to continue it.
May 10, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Kerstin
Just wanted to say as a woman who is one half of a FWB, I think the concept is magnificent. We only see each other when we need to, although lately, it’s not as often as we’d like, but we make it work.
Not all women are cut out for this lifestyle. But it can work.
May 10, 2007 at 7:35 pm
datingguy
Kerstin – I agree with you – it can work but both sides have be into it. I guess with my situation, I just wasn’t as into it as she was. But I’m glad it’s working for you and I’m certainly open to the idea with another woman.