So I was heading down to a business networking event. I took the subway and was prepared to catch up on some personal journaling (I’ve been keeping a personal journal for many years and I try to write in it daily). I got my laptop out and started typing away. In the next minute, this woman and man come and sit perpendicularly next to me and start talking.
I thought nothing of it and kept typing but then I started noticing something strange. The woman was upbeat, full of energy and very friendly – qualities I find really attractive in people, in general, not just women. She was asking the man about his family life (he was obviously married) and seemed genuinely interested in him. For his part, the man was very unresponsive. Maybe he was tired or maybe he had a bad day, but he would answer her with these one word grunts or very short sentences and he wouldn’t ask her anything about herself. I thought that was strange – here was this very cute and friendly woman who was obviously making an effort to connect with him and he couldn’t care less – what a waste. Luckily, after about 2 subway stops the man got off and the woman stayed on. I just had to connect with her since I thought she was really friendly and open – and I really didn’t care if it would lead to anything.
So I asked her something about what she had been talking about with the man – she was telling him about a trip to Costa Rica she was on recently where she got quite sick. I forget exactly what I initially asked her but it was something related to that. And she was happy to tell me more about it. She seemed just as open and friendly with me as with her co-worker. So we spent the next 20 minutes or so having this great conversation – she told me she’s a teacher at a grade school and she’s just doing it for now until she figures out what career she wants to pursue full time. I told her about my business and what I do and we just had this really cool, easy conversation the entire subway ride to downtown. Eventually, as my stop was coming up I asked her where she was getting off and it turned out she was going to the same stop as I was to my meeting – another coincidence! So then I asked her for her number after prefacing it with the fact that I don’t usually do this. She willingly gave it to me but didn’t have a piece of paper to write it on. So I gave her my business card and she wrote in on the back. Turns out her name is Lucy and I told her I’d call her. We went our separate ways after getting off at the subway station together – me to my business networking meeting and her to her place.
What a great surprise – you wouldn’t normally think of the subway as a place to meet new people but since I recently made the decision to become more open to meeting people, it’s amazing what the universe opens up for you.
The Dating Guy 
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April 11, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Diego Alveranga
Nice!
I take the subway in NYC a lot and find that for the most part women like to keep to themselves either with iPods or books. Unless they are open and friendly like Lucy its tough finding an opening for a conversation. However this didn’t deter me from trying to pick up this one girl who, for the last week I’ve seen riding the same two trains from home to work and vice-versa. I’ve made eye contact with her several times but she never gives me any signals to approach her. this morning though I had enough and mustered up my courage in what seemed the best opportunity to try and talk to her. I was making my way into the subway train and stood next to a handrail that was empty, I noticed she was sitting 5 people away to my right but as I looked away she had made her way to me and just stood next to me reading a crafts/arts magazine. Now in my mind I thought why would any one get up from their seat on the subway that is slowly getting filled with passengers? And why would she stand next to me? Whatever the case, I waited and looked right at her for like 45 seconds but she wouldn’t take her eyes of her magazine. Now I thought I can either say nothing and stand here and loose this opportunity or just open my mouth and see what this chick is about. Now being that I had never approached a girl on the subway I had no idea what i could say that wouldn’t come out too awkward or stupid. When I finally decided to open my mouth I said, “excuse me sorry to bother your reading but did you go to memorial high school?” she replied with a quick no and a surprised look about her because I spoke to her. I then said “its that you look like some one I used to know”. She then murmured with out bothering to look at me “no I’m not her”. Now at this point I could tell that she was not wanting to talk tome or she was just too shocked that I was trying to form a conversation. Instinctually I just let it go and didn’t say a word. Now I’m kinda hating myself cause I didn’t really get rejected 100% and I also didn’t push the conversation.
I might see this girl again but I’m not sure if I’ll want to approach her again.
April 12, 2007 at 2:17 am
datingguy
Thanks for your heartfelt thoughts, Diego. And that’s great that you actually said something to her, even though she didn’t respond well. I know I beat myself up inside when there’s a perfect opportunity that I let slip through my fingers so to me, it’s a win no matter what she says. As for approaching her again – I’d say go easy on yourself and start small. What worked for me is saying hi and talking to women (and guys) that you run into during the day to get you more social and then working up to a real approach. You can read more about my experience on my blog post: https://datingguy.wordpress.com/2007/04/12/my-first-pickup-attempt/.
Good luck and keep going!