Honesty Watch

My final dating goal is to have a serious, committed relationship with the woman of my dreams. However, I recognize that to get to that point, I’ll have to meet many women in the process. Many guys have this notion that we pursue one woman, go out with her exclusively and then when things end, we pursue the next woman. That’s what I’ve done for most (but not all) of my dating life. But I’m starting to realize that this is a really slow process to get to where I want to go – to find Mrs. Right. I just don’t have enough years in my life to find the right woman that way.

So my new strategy is to keep meeting and dating new and interesting (did I mention attractive?) women on a regular basis. So while I’m looking for Mrs. Right, I also plan on meeting and dating many Mrs. Right Now’s in the process. Now, I know, I know… this can come off as arrogant and misogynistic and believe me this is not where I’m coming from. I highly respect women and I love their company. I get a high when I connect with her and we just have this flow to our conversation. So just because I haven’t found Mrs. Right doesn’t mean I should be living like a monk or stop myself from enjoying the company of all women.

I think of myself as an ethical and genuine guy. I’m not into tricking or misleading women just so that I can date or be intimate with them. Yet the inevitable question arises – if I want to date multiple women at the same time (which I do right now), how can I do that while still maintaining my integrity? For me, that means being honest and upfront with them – that I’m not looking for something serious right now even though eventually I do want to settle down with the right woman. That way, there’s no mistaking me for the serial monogamist type who would start being exclusive with a woman after going out with her a few times.

A side benefit of dating multiple women is that you’re not so hung up on any one woman. And that, ironically, makes you more attractive to each one. I think women have a finely tuned desperate-sensing gene and they can smell when a guy is desperate for their attention and approval. I don’t want to be that guy. How do I not become that guy? By dating multiple women, I’m not as affected by the outcome of any one.

See, I acknowledge my own shortcomings. For instance, I have a problem interacting in an easy-going manner with very attractive women. I think it’s some basic instinct in us guys that just wants to “have her” that screws us up and makes us sound awkward. Whatever it is, I do know that my future Mrs. Right will be in that category. She would have a lot more going for her than her looks, but she would still be a very beautiful woman. So even if I were to meet my future Mrs. Right right now, I’d probably mess up the interaction. So in a way, I’m getting myself ready for her. And how I am doing that? By meeting and dating multiple women.

I often wonder if you take a group of guys that are happily in a relationship and/or marriage and ask them: if you knew you could be in a serious relationship with any woman in the world – ANY, would you still choose to be with your partner? I wonder how many of them, if they’re truly honest with themselves, would say they’d still choose to be with the person they’re with. I think that we as guys often settle for the woman that happened to have chosen us. We’re so afraid of rejection and meeting new women that we think it’s better to stick with what we got because we feel it’s just so damn hard meeting new women. Even worse, some guys feel they don’t deserve to be with a certain type of woman – for example, too beautiful, too intelligent, too ambitious…

I think it’s time for us guys to stand up and declare our intentions – life is too short.