I think that dating multiple women for me is better than dating one woman at a time. This might apply to other guys, too, but I’m going to just speak for myself and what I’ve been re-discovering lately.

One of the problems I had in approaching and dating women I was very attracted to was the nervousness I would feel when interacting with them – the fear that I would somehow screw things up, by what I said or did. That, inevitably, made me more uptight and nervous and I would often not even bother approaching these women at all.

What I’m finding now, is that if I have the mindset that I can go out and easily meet more women at any time, then being rejected by any one woman becomes no big deal. I find I’m taking more chances now – joking more, staying relaxed, not trying to win her approval and even experimenting with saying things that put me in the “bad” category of her values. For example, I was talking to this girl I’m going out with this week (a blind date) and she asked me what zodiac sign I am. After I told her she expressed concern that that sign can have a very selfish streak in them. So what did I do? I agreed with her by saying, yeah, I can be pretty selfish. Now, I wasn’t doing that because I really believe I’m very selfish. I think we’re all selfish to one extent or another. The reason I said that was to show that I didn’t care if she approved of me and I didn’t want to play her game of having to justify myself. Ironically, she continued to express interest in us going out and we’re supposed to get together later tonight. In previous times I might have made a sarcastic joke about me being selfish so she would feel that I’m not selfish. But instead, I just agreed with her and said, yeah, I’m selfish.

Aside: This is a setup through friends of friends. It’s a half blind date (she saw my pictures and I have no idea what she looks like) so wish me luck.

I’m still learning this concept of not caring so much about the outcome and her approval. It’s ironic in how it works – the less you care in whether she approves of you, the more relaxed you become, the more free you feel to express yourself and take chances in what you do and say, the more attractive you become in her eyes, the more she gets interested in you. The great thing is that I feel I can do this very easily with women I’m not or somewhat attracted to. The next main challenge is to adopt this attitude with women I am very attracted to. And if I know I can meet more attractive women very easily, that takes the pressure off of having to make it work with any one attractive woman.

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