After the last two pick up attempts, I wasn’t quite ready to call it the night. I left that bookstore and went to another one. The other one is larger, with two floors so I thought it would be a nice place to check out. As I come in to the store and get ready to go upstairs and start looking around there, I noticed right away an attractive woman looking at books on the main floor. It looked like she was there with her mom, who was looking at books in a different section, but close by. Perfect – how much more of a sign do you need from a woman that she’s single when she’s out at a bookstore with her mom on a Friday night?

I stop my momentum towards the upstairs and casually make my way to the “hot new releases” section where she’s looking over the selection. I try and just make her notice me and I wasn’t planning on talking with her right away. I wanted to establish some level of comfort first.

After a few seconds she goes away from that section and walks to another section about 20 feet away. Damn… this happened to me before at a different bookstore and I just let the woman walk away. This time I thought I should be a little more aggressive. After all, who knows if she walked away because she might have been shy. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to hang around and see if I could get another opportunity to approach her instead of just giving up on her.

I’m still not sure how long to wait before approaching a woman at a bookstore. I wonder if I approached her more quickly if she would have been more open. I wondering if some women get weirded out by some guy that hangs around them without saying much and then starts talking to them.

A few minutes later, she comes to a nearby section and I figured that here’s my chance. So I walk up to her and open with “Hi, you looked really interesting and I just wanted to come over and say hello to you”. She smiles and answers with a hello. I forget the exact exchange (maybe I should record these approaches) but I ask her what she’s been up to tonight and she tells me she had dinner with her mom at a restaurant and that they came by to look at books afterwards. I thought we had a good start but after a couple of minutes of talking I notice she’s not that responsive and doesn’t say much. I can see this might get difficult. She asks me what I was planning to accomplish with starting to talk to her. Um… geez… maybe getting to know you better and maybe asking you out… and eventually having sex with you and maybe even having a real fulfilling life long relationship with you. But that’s not what I say. Instead I say something lame like “you seemed very interesting and I wanted to talk to you and get to know you better”. She responds with “I’m not really into these kinds of meetings. I find them awkward.” I say, “It doesn’t have to be.” She responds with “Well, there has to be mutual interest in doing this…” implying there’s only one of us that has an interest in pursuing this further. So that was her way of saying she wasn’t interested. OK, no problem, I got her hint. I move on and go upstairs to look at the magazines.

I felt I was done practicing picking up women for the night and I just wanted to enjoy some reading in the few minutes before the store closed. Then I noticed a cute sales clerk restocking some books so I talked with her for a few minutes before the store closed.

After I left the bookstore I went over to a nearby Starbucks coffee shop and wrote an earlier post there. I just wanted to chill out after a fun evening of practicing picking up women. Well, I ended up striking up a couple of conversations with the (too young for me) female workers and I even told one of them that she was very friendly and beautiful, after we had a really nice chat – I was typing away on my laptop and she was cleaning the floor close to me. It was a great way to end the evening.

Things I learned

  • Being direct about why I wanted to talk to a woman felt refreshing and invigorating. Saying “I wanted to come over and say hello to you because you looked interesting” felt like it can work with other women even though the woman last night wasn’t very interested in talking further. Sure, I can change what I say – like instead of “interesting” I can say “intriguing” or “sexy” or “beautiful”… but it’s the intent that matters – that I wasn’t making some lame excuse to talk with them.
  • Being completely rejected by a woman didn’t feel that bad. I know I’ve posted this before but it’s a very important concept for us guys to remember. After all, the only reason why most guys don’t approach more women is because of the fear of rejection. Well, I have to say, that after being rejected quite a number of times while trying to pick up women, I can honestly say it’s not that bad. Sure, I would have liked to hook up with many of the women I approached, but I felt more confident and energetic after approaching them, even though I got rejected. The woman tonight clearly told me she was not interested in talking to me further and that just made me wonder if she’s got some issue with trying new things and got scared. I’m honestly feeling like she missed out on a great opportunity due to her fears/complexes and it’s really too bad for her. I came out of that bookstore feeling great!