I should have known that the “lucky” thirteenth pick up approach wouldn’t lead to anywhere.

As I was finishing my run where I tried to pick up two women, I ran by the Starbucks coffee shop close to my place to see if there was someone inside I could practice on. The place was fairly empty on a Saturday afternoon, but I noticed one somewhat attractive woman (late teens to early 20s) sitting by herself with papers around her – obviously studying. Now, I’ve mentioned in past posts how I feel that women who study at coffee shops are partly there to socialize, too, so I figure why not and see if she’s open to talking.

I come in to the Starbucks at the end of my run – I’m pretty tired and just order a water. I flirt a little bit with the female Barista and proceed to walk over to the table next to the woman I’m interested in. I sit perpendicular to her, so I’m not facing her directly but my back isn’t to her either. I don’t want to just start talking to her right away, since I tried that before with mediocre results.

So I sit there relaxing and drinking my water. I glance over at her now and again to see if she looks up. She doesn’t. She’s totally focussed on her book and the notes she’s taking. I look at the book – some kind of Calculus book. Cool, I took Calculus, maybe we can talk about integrals and derivatives while our body language can talk about hooking up and having some fun. After a few more minutes I wonder whether I’m just wasting time and the situation is becoming awkward – let’s just do this already.

So to get out of my inactive state I get up and walk over to the trash bin to throw out some napkins. As I get back to my table I glance over at her, who’s just at the table next to mine, and just ask, “Is that an interesting book?” She doesn’t look up at all. It was as if I didn’t say anything. She totally, completely, utterly ignores me. Now I notice that she’s wearing one headphone but it looked like only one of them was in. Besides, even if she was wearing both of them, I think she would notice if someone said something to her. So I ask again “Is that an interesting book you’re reading?” Nothing… Silence…. She just continues staring into her book… Wow… I never had that happen to me before. OK, so that was different. I debate whether to walk up closer to her and ask again or say something else to her, but I just figured what’s the point – she’s obviously not interested.

Things I learned

  • Start talking to her sooner, but not right away. Maybe she would have felt less weird if I talked to her a minute after I came over to sit by the table next to hers. That way, I’m not startling her since she’ll be aware of my presence but I’m not breaking a long moment of silence by suddenly asking her a question.
  • Have more fun! Maybe she was ignoring me but so what! I think I could have started talking to her in a more open way – like making a joke about the book or pretending like I was going to give her a Calculus test right there or pretending that I was someone looking for a Calculus tutor. Just something to break her out of her shell. This is something that will develop more as I keep making more approaches.