What is it with women that tell you “I can’t this week, but maybe the week after” on multiple occasions, when you suggest that you get together? I’ve known Nancy for about a year now. We met totally by chance at a bar – I was with my group of friends, she was with her boyfriend at the time. Both of our groups had just come from the same movie and we all just started talking together in one big group. I have to admit – I was quite smitten by her – gorgeous, very intelligent, funny, easy going – I guess the same things that a lot of guys would find attractive. Anyway, I befriended her and her boyfriend and I’ve been corresponding with her by email over the last year. Nothing intense, just the occasional email. There was even a time she was going to come over with her boyfriend to my place for dinner but that never materialized.

Anyway, since we met, I’ve gone through a few relationships and she’s broken up with her boyfriend. So I was thinking what better opportunity to get together and just hang out just the two of us. Hell, she even invited me to her birthday a few months back and I’m not even a friend – just someone that she met by accident and who she’s been corresponding with for a year mostly by email.

So you can imagine my disappointment and bewilderment when I was talking to her the other day and suggested (for the third time) that we get together. Her response – “this is a really busy week for me – let’s try for maybe something next week.” Yeah… whatever… This wasn’t the first time she gave me that line. We talked a few weeks back and her response was the same. It’s kind of funny – that we’ve known each other for about a year and yet have only physically seen each other on about three occasions. But what’s up with that? If she’s not interested, then just say so! I can take it. What’s the point of stringing this along? In case nothing better comes along then she’ll agree to get together?

I guess her response got me down because I thought we could be a good match. But I also realize that that line of thinking is what gets me into problems – I build up these expectations of what “could be” with some woman I’ve idealized and then I put too much pressure on myself for making it work when I interact with her, which inevitably causes me to not be as relaxed and easy going as I am with women I’m not as attracted to, which causes these women to string me along by saying “I can’t this week, but maybe the week after.”

See, I tend to have this “problem” where I can attract women I’m somewhat or not attracted to and yet have trouble attracting the women I truly desire. It’s ironic, but with the women I’m not as attracted to, I’m more relaxed, easy going, funny… more myself. And that’s what probably wins them over. But with women I’m very attracted to, I’m less bold and I get more uptight and self-conscious which leads to responses like “I can’t this week, but maybe the week after.”

On top of this crap, my hot neighbor, Eve, again postponed our date because she’s been really sick. On top of that this woman that I wrote to from an online dating site hasn’t replied. On top of that I still have to figure out what to do with Angela and how to end or alter our friends with benefits arrangement.

I think my main task should be finding more women to go out with and continuing to practice my pick-ups. I’m guessing this is a common problem for guys – that there are one or two women that we have our hearts set on and there aren’t other women readily available for interaction. I’m not saying you have to be Hugh Hefner who’s constantly surrounded by women, but I do think having other dating options is very important – especially if you want to date women that you’re very attracted to. I think that if I knew I could go out and easily meet high quality women in a short amount of time, I’d basically call Nancy on her B.S. and move onto other women. Right now, as far as I’m concerned, she’s out of the picture – I’m not going to ask her out again – too much trouble for a single woman.

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