My first approach of the evening was kind of a dud. It had to do with me feeling down about missing multiple approach opportunities on the way to the bookstore.

First Missed Opportunity

I stopped off at the bank machine before going on the subway. As I open the door to go inside, this hot babe walks out right in front of me – by herself. I hesitate and do nothing. Damn it. I thought I was feeling more on top of my game but I’m realizing it will take many more approaches to feel comfortable opening a conversation in a situation like that.

Second Missed Opportunity

As I’m descending the stairs to the subway, I’m trying to stay positive and think of how relatively well the banter went with the woman walking the dog, at the end of my run today. Then I see another hot babe walking up the stairs as I’m coming down. What do I do? Absolutely nothing. Man that totally gets me in a down mood.

Third Missed Opportunity

After a few stops on the subway, this attractive woman gets on by herself and sits a few seats down. Maybe 20 feet away. What do I do? Do I come over and start to banter with her? Nope. I do absolutely nothing.

Fourth Missed Opportunity

Finally, at the bookstore, I feel like I’m more in my element. I don’t want to use it as a crutch, though. I want to be comfortable approaching women in a wide variety of venues. Well, as soon as I come in I notice another attractive woman by the magazine section. But I’m not feeling very confident after all my previous missed opportunities so I just pass her by and walk up to the second floor where I can get more in my element.

The Approach – Finally

I spot an attractive woman by the cooking section and I can feel myself getting nervous. But I feel like if I don’t approach her I’m going to go into some kind of mini-depression for being such a wuss and not taking any action. So I muster up the balls and try to casually walk up beside her. She’s glancing through a cookbook in her hand.

“Man, what is it with all these cookbooks? I just want something really simple.”
She looks up at me and gives me a sympathetic smile and replies with something neutral. I glance around the cookbooks for a few seconds and say something else about how I just want a simple cookbook that a novice can use.

We have a somewhat stilted exchange for the next few minutes and she eventually leaves. OK, I got over my approach anxiety hump. I’m feeling a lot better now.

Bantering with the Bookstore Clerk

Throughout my interaction with the woman, the female bookstore clerk was just listening in passively. After the woman left, the store clerk turns to me and says, “Do you need help in finding something?”

I get this big grin and mischievous look on my face:

“Oh, I don’t know if you want to help me. You might regret it later.”
“Well, I’ve been writing a haiku here for the last few minutes, I’m a little bored and I’m just looking to help someone.”
“You’ve been writing haikus instead of working like you were supposed to? I think I’m going to have to tell management about this – they’ll probably fire you.”
(mock fright) “Oh no! You wouldn’t!”
(mock conviction) “Oh yes! I would!”

Then we have another playful exchange where I tell her that I’ve got “a friend” that doesn’t know how to cook and wants to learn and how I’d like to help my “friend”. She plays along and emphasizes the word “friend” and gives me a flirtatious eyewink every time she uses it. We have a great time just playing and flirting like this for the next 10 minutes while she helps me find a cookbook.

In the end I decide not to ask her out – she’s cute but not as attractive as I would like, so I decide it’s time to look for more women to talk to. The bantering, though, is something I’m discovering has an amazing effect – and I ended up using plenty of banter in my next approach that turned out to be the best approach of the day.

List of All My Pick Up Approaches