After the great approach I had while running, I stopped off at a Starbucks coffee shop to rest up and get some water. I just sat by myself at a table not looking to approach anyone (didn’t see anyone worth approaching anyway). As I’m leaving the coffee shop I notice this attractive woman sitting by herself at a table and studying. I’m almost out the door and as I’m opening the door we lock eyes. I just smile and decide “what the hell?”

I start walking over to her and say something really interesting like, “Hi.” I’m pretty relaxed because I’ve just finished my run so I’m feeling tired. But I’m also confident and easy going because I just that great approach while running.

“So what are you studying?”

She smiles but isn’t as responsive as I would have liked. I think of something to banter with:

“I used to tutor in physics. I’ll tell you what – I’ll give you a special rate so I can tutor you.”

She just smiles a little awkwardly – not sure that had the desired effect I was going for.

As I’m about to give up on her I hear my name. Turns out a friend of my sister was close by and she heard me chatting up this woman. So for the next few minutes I talk with my sister’s friend.

When I head off from the coffee shop I say good-bye to the woman studying physics and wish her well.

Things I Learned

  • Banter with something more inclusive. If I offered to tutor her, what was she going to say? Maybe she was just not interested but if I suggested instead that I needed help in physics and she could tutor me that might have worked better.
  • Getting a neutral response from a woman isn’t that big of a deal. I’d rather get a neutral response or get totally rejected than not approach at all and then beat myself up for not following through.

List of All My Pick Up Approaches