I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’ve been going through over the last couple of months.

When I started this whole pick up practice and approaching women challenge I really wanted to get over the anxiety I felt when I would see a woman in public that I wanted to approach. Well, I can now say that that anxiety is mostly gone. I feel pretty comfortable approaching women in most situations.

You would think I would feel great about this and part of me does. But there’s another part of me that’s left saying, “Yeah, so now what?” It’s like the prize I so dearly coveted turned out to be not that great when I got it. Most of the women that I approach are either not interested or I find out after talking to them for a few minutes that I’m not interested in them. There’s also the issue of finding someone with the same background as me and doing that with random strangers doesn’t help the odds.

I was talking to a female friend of mine and I compared all these pickup approaches to gorging myself at buffet – where I try and sample every different dish at the table and end up feeling sick afterwards. She suggested that I, instead, take my time savouring each dish – I like that analogy.

Now I could devote myself to improving my pickup approaches – really connecting with attractive women that I meet in public. I could also practice at different venues (clubs, shopping malls, bars). The truth, though, is that I’m not sure that’s what I want to do. I think the approaching women challenge served a purpose and now it’s time for me to move onto the next stage – meeting high quality women in other ways. My goal, after all, is to meet the right woman to start a serious relationship with. The pickup practice is just a tool to get me there and not an end in itself.

I’m going to continue approaching women and posting my pick up approaches – after all, I have my approaching women challenge to complete. I’m up to 39 approaches already so I’ve got 11 more to go. But I’m going to slow down the frequency of the approaches and focus more on meeting women through other avenues – through friends and social events.

I feel like all the approaching I’ve done in the last couple of months has served a really important purpose – I’ve learned how to be relaxed and banter with women (and people in general) I just meet. Now I can take those skills and apply them to “normal” social situations.

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