After the great approach I had while running, I stopped off at a Starbucks coffee shop to rest up and get some water. I just sat by myself at a table not looking to approach anyone (didn’t see anyone worth approaching anyway). As I’m leaving the coffee shop I notice this attractive woman sitting by herself at a table and studying. I’m almost out the door and as I’m opening the door we lock eyes. I just smile and decide “what the hell?”
I start walking over to her and say something really interesting like, “Hi.” I’m pretty relaxed because I’ve just finished my run so I’m feeling tired. But I’m also confident and easy going because I just that great approach while running.
“So what are you studying?”
“Physics.”
She smiles but isn’t as responsive as I would have liked. I think of something to banter with:
“I used to tutor in physics. I’ll tell you what – I’ll give you a special rate so I can tutor you.”
She just smiles a little awkwardly – not sure that had the desired effect I was going for.
As I’m about to give up on her I hear my name. Turns out a friend of my sister was close by and she heard me chatting up this woman. So for the next few minutes I talk with my sister’s friend.
When I head off from the coffee shop I say good-bye to the woman studying physics and wish her well.
Things I Learned
- Banter with something more inclusive. If I offered to tutor her, what was she going to say? Maybe she was just not interested but if I suggested instead that I needed help in physics and she could tutor me that might have worked better.
- Getting a neutral response from a woman isn’t that big of a deal. I’d rather get a neutral response or get totally rejected than not approach at all and then beat myself up for not following through.
The Dating Guy 
10 comments
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May 25, 2007 at 4:15 am
Louisa
Could be that she was really focused on her study material too? Maybe she had a test coming up or something?
I see you’re project/challenge is coming along nicely. Number 29 already! You should have given yourself a higher target I think. 😉
May 25, 2007 at 8:17 am
datingguy
Maybe she was focused on studying or maybe she was just uptight. I didn’t really take it personally.
As for the challenge – I’m actually a few ahead of what’s posted so I’m even closer to 50 than it appears on the blog. I think it was a great challenge and I’m thinking of what makes sense to set for myself next. I’m debating between doing more approaches or setting a different type of goal.
May 25, 2007 at 10:23 am
The Exception
It seems that you are enjoying this exercise. Any big holiday plans which would allow greater pick up opportunities?
May 25, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Young Man still learning
Wow.. dating guy you sure have come along way since the first pickup I learned alot from you and from myself and other people after reading your blogs. You give me courage to do things I wouldn’t normally do and now because of it i’m now more social open and friendly thanks dating guy!!!
May 25, 2007 at 9:17 pm
datingguy
The Exception – yeah, it’s been a good experience but I’m getting ready to transition to other types of dating goals. I’ll be posting more when I complete my challenge. Enjoy the holiday 🙂
May 25, 2007 at 9:18 pm
datingguy
Young Man – that’s great to hear. I wish I learned this stuff when I was much younger so I’m glad other (younger) guys are making use of it.
May 26, 2007 at 2:51 am
goodmorningbeautiful
Better luck next time. but that was a good try.
Personally, I like when the guy just approaches and says, “Hi.”
May 26, 2007 at 10:52 am
datingguy
Thanks 🙂 Yeah, I think simple buy playful tends to work better than all serious and direct.
May 28, 2007 at 2:39 pm
denmark98
Since I am great a picking up women, if you really wanted to impress her then ask a question that would show that you know physics and still that you are interested in her. Like: “Do you think that string theory is a dead theory or what is your take on that?”
Asking a women to tutor is a little to much stalking…she was nervours by your question. If you kept it broad and playful by showing interest and making her laugh then you would be have been more successful.
Patrick
May 29, 2007 at 6:34 am
datingguy
Patrick – thanks for your thoughts. I agree that I should have asked a more open question. But I’m not sure saying I know string theory (which I don’t) would’ve impressed her. She was studying freshman level physics and I’m thinking she had no idea about string theory. It’s one of those things where I had to think of something to say in a split second. Believe me, I’m all about keeping it fun and playful – it’s all about how you say it.